For those of you who bother committing heinous, brutal crimes please pay attention.
Your new mentor has just shown you what to do with yourselves. His name is/was Ryan Jenkins.
The story began with a reality show, in which a roomful of single women competed for the affections of a rich man. Shortly thereafter, a beautiful porcelain-faced model and actress named Jasmine Fiore fell in love with Ryan, who would eventually become her killer.
She had fallen madly for him and announced to her family members that she had met the most amazing man. I also think he’s amazing, for reasons which I’ll name later.
Only a few months went by, and the new marriage began to show the strains of his jealousy over her male friends. They were last seen together as recently as last Thursday at a poker game together.
Then came a missing persons report from Mr. Jenkins the next day, followed by his subsequent disappearance. Hailing from Alberta, Canada, authorities suspected he would head north for the land of snowshoes and back bacon and put out the alerts to authorities.
On the weekend, at the Thunderbird Motel outside of Hope, B.C., a beautiful young blonde lady checked into the hotel paying cash for 3 nights’ accommodations while the presumed killer sat in the vehicle, which had Alberta plates. She then disappeared never to be seen again.
On Sunday he was found hanging in the hotel room closet by a belt. (Maybe he was a fan of David Carradine…)
The back story is that Jasmine was found by a dumpster diver the day after she was reported missing, stuffed in a suitcase with her teeth pulled out and her fingers missing. And this is why I find him amazing.
Amazingly fucking crazy. How a man, who meets, has sex with, and marries a beautiful young woman so gorgeous that the average man would cut his right arm off to fuck, can not only strangle, but then pull out her teeth then cut off her fingers in an effort to thwart identification is beyond me. I even hate cutting up raw chicken let alone the thought of a human being. What tool do you need to chop off fingers anyways? Bolt cutters? Tin snips? It literally blows my mind. And where are these fingers and teeth anyways? Put out THAT A.P.B. She was identified by the serial numbers on her breast implants of all things.
Maybe the mystery woman will have those answers.
How a seemingly sane, very handsome man could do things like this is beyond me. I would think that if a guy like him hooked up with a girl like that and determined she was a fruit loop or became insanely jealous, to me, I’d say “See you later, I could have anyone I wanted or I’d just go from girl to girl until my penis fell off and have a good time doing it.”
Similar like-minded killers pay attention, because at the price of housing you after you commit your own senseless crime, ( upwards of $100,000 a year in a federal pen ) it is better off for us if you take your own beltsoff ( or borrow one..) and hang yourself in a closet as well. You all would be doing us a favor, and maybe we’d have that money to feed the homeless or perhaps the many hungry children in Canada.